Rugby and My Fashionista Sister are the World’s Problem
How two worlds seemingly unrelated reveal the growing anger of modern society
A United States Naval Academy player scores a diving try against Mary Washington / Photo courtesy of Phil Hoffman and Navy Rugby
By: Tyler Church
Since I was old enough to think for myself, my entire view of my sister, a high fashion designer, has been draped in a layer of detached irony so thick that, when I look back, I question if I ever truly knew the person she was or who I was looking up to.
By the time I gained consciousness, at about age 7, she was already well into the throes of a blooming fashion career. My semi-famous sister, who was 10 years older than I, always prompted a reaction out of my peers when I was still a wide-eyed kid. I was also a little dumbfounded by the fact that I was one connection away from many of the world’s most famous pop stars.
When I reached middle school, I emulated the passion and work ethic I saw in my sister and applied it to my athletic pursuits, working day in and day out to get one step better. Though I continued to play through high school, I certainly did not achieve the success my sister saw in her field. At the same time, as I grew old enough to think for myself, I began to question her values and sincerity.
When she had first become a fashion designer, she was a creative with infinite potential, excited to show what she could do. Someone who was taking interviews from magazines like Vogue and travelling the world for shows and photoshoots. But by 2023, when I was a senior in high school, she had become one with a faceless mob of fashionistas, all trying to conjure controversy in a desperate attempt to get a leg up on the other. She spent much of her time on social media, stirring controversy to “own the libs.”
She was, to me, no role model. I moved on to college. Like many, I struggled to find a place until I was offered the opportunity to play for the University. I jumped at the chance and fell back into the same routine I had formed during college – wake up early, practice, go to class, work out and come home. It was similar enough to football, which I had played for nearly my entire life, and it offered a structure that I had missed so deeply.
My first year in the sport was exactly what I wanted it to be. The people were incredibly welcoming, the sport was fun and I felt meaningful, measurable growth.
Then, the next year arrived. As the seniors left and new faces arrived, the team’s culture began to shift. The welcoming group I once knew had graduated, and many of the people who had taken their places jaded me. I saw the rise of misogynistic remarks, racist comments and subtle attempts to demean others in the conversations of rugby practices and group chats. I refused to participate in a warped version of a community I once loved, so I left for good.
I left because I had seen this movie before. The same slow slide into detached hostility I saw on a team I once volunteered hours of sleep for was the exact pain I felt watching my sister devolve from passionate career seeker to hostile social media clout chaser.
These shifts are happening in nearly every facet of modern living. In America’s highest offices, you see anger flung around openly and readily. In his second administration, President Donald Trump has made it very clear what he thinks of his opposition.
“These people are crazy,” Donald Trump said of Democrats during his Feb. 24 State of the Union address, amid protests from representatives. “I’m telling you, they’re crazy.”
For decades, divides have expanded in politics, driving the hope of any consensus even further from any political discussion. A 2022 study of Americans found 72% of Republicans and 63% of Democrats viewed their opposing party as immoral, with both groups seeing roughly a 30 percentage point increase from a similar study performed in 2016.
Even when you try to escape on your phone, doomscrolling exacerbates the problem.
Among the flood of bots, those bold enough to scroll on what was once Twitter will find the same mindless slop and engagement bait that we are starting to find in our closest relationships. A 2025 study found that, in the modern day, over half of all internet traffic is now artificial. Searching for any form of real connection they can find, many young men fall into the manosphere pipeline until content creators can squeeze every last bit of attention and respect out of their developing minds. Once their brain is fully baked, the cycle of anger finds a new host in another unsuspecting young man.
Despite this feeling, maybe there is reason to hope. Johanna Dunaway, one of the researchers behind that 2022 study on polarization, writes that there is hope on the horizon in the shape of a neighbor.
“Research shows that the negative effects of polarization are less evident among local public officials and local communities,” Dunaway said. “Local governments are in a unique position to cooperate and compromise across party lines.”
Today, I often only see my sister through social media posts laden with chronically online internet speak.
“It’s nuts how much slack I got for working the influence of this kid has undeniably amassed into a larger artistic commentary of the times via fashion,” she recently posted on her Instagram, in reference to her work with Clavicular, a meth-smoking streamer who recently skyrocketed to popularity for his dedication to what the internet calls “looksmaxxing.”
As humans, we’re social animals. Moving that communication online has put a price tag on your anger.
“Underlying media emphasis on the extreme and outrageous is that most digital media relies on attention metrics like clicks and because competition for the public’s attention is so intense,” Dunaway said. “Media outlets face strong economic incentives to publish and promote the most attention-grabbing content.”
As Dunaway discussed, it all starts locally. Talk to your neighbor. Make your voice heard in a local election. Volunteer somewhere. Moving away from this media-based socialization puts the power in your hands, taking it away from those who benefit from making you hate the people around you. At the end of the day, I can’t fix the fashion industry or sports culture. I’m just one guy with a computer in a sea of angry, lonely people. I can help one person, though, and you can, too.