The importance of food in creating and maintaining community.
During the pandemic, my family hosted a Thanksgiving dinner with only seven people. We made two turkeys and four pies. That was on top of all the usual fixings: squash, potatoes, stuffing, you get the drift. Don’t worry, no food was wasted, but it was a long few weeks of leftovers.
Food is how my family shows their love. That’s why we needed to have four pies-apple, pecan, lemon meringue and chocolate of course.
At the time, I pointed out that we were making an obscene amount of food for seven people, but my grandma was adamant that everyone had to have their favorite pie. She wanted to make sure everyone felt appreciated.
Beyond showing appreciation, food gives us a reason to gather. Barbeques and brat fries and brunches and bake sales. Picnics and potlucks and pig roasts.. Chili contests and crab boils and cookouts. The list of food-centric events is long.
Work isn’t immune from this. One of my coworkers brings in her gurse (goose-shaped purse) filled with homemade cookies every Thursday. The gurse are iconic. Everyone in the office knows what it means. It brings everyone, management and employees alike, to the break room where everyone chats and jokes as they munch on a snickerdoodle.
The gurse cookies are not single handedly responsible for the positive environment of my workplace, but they certainly don’t hurt. Gurse cookies give us a reason to gather and to truly spend time with one another, even if it’s only for a few minutes.
This is why knowing how to make food is important to me. Sure, knowing how to cook is important for living, but I don’t want to cook just to stay alive. I want to cook to form connection.
It can be intimidating assigning so much emotional value to food, especially if you aren’t experienced in the kitchen. When I cook for people I love, it feels like I’m putting my heart on their plate.
I lack the patience for making many things and have no ability to follow directions in order. My roommate says watching me cook is anxiety-inducing because you can see all of my thoughts pulling me in different directions. She says it’s like watching a pack of rats scatter.
Most of the time I put together something decent enough, and my college friends who rarely step foot in the kitchen certainly enjoy when I whip something up.
I have to remind myself even an attempt to cook or bake something shows a commitment to community and appreciation for those around you. It’s the thought that counts. I mean ideally it is not disgusting and doesn’t give anyone food poisoning, but as long as it is edible you are in the clear.
My whole life I have seen people gather communities and show appreciation with food. I can’t imagine building a community without it. Now I am an adult I get to build my own community, which is terrifying and thrilling at the same time.
But just as importantly I can start to give back to the communities that made me. My family and friends have given me so much love and support through the year. And I can’t wait to start returning that love that I have received by the meal.
My first endeavor- baking a lemon meringue pie for my grandma.